HOPE at NYU | For Families

Healthy Eating

Children learn about food from TV shows and commercials, school, grocery stores, restaurants, teachers, friends, and family members. There is no shortage of messages encouraging children to overeat and to crave sugary, high fat foods. Parents can’t protect children from all of these messages, but there are important steps parents can take to help children develop healthy eating habits.

Eat meals together as a family.
Set a routine for meals and snacks and set limits on snacking at other times.
Offer meals that include a variety of healthy foods. Children will learn to like most foods if they are offered repeatedly in a supportive atmosphere.
Do not punish or reward your child for eating. This can lead to struggles over eating and may cause children to eat too much or too little.
Consider the nutritional guidelines for children and shop for a variety of healthy foods. This is the first step to successful feeding.
Don’t buy chips, sweets or soda every time you shop. If you have these foods at home, your child is more likely to eat them!

Tips for parents are based on materials developed for ParentCorps by Laurie Miller Brotman, Ph.D., and Esther Calzada, Ph.D. Materials on healthy eating and getting your family active were developed by Spring Dawson-McClure, Ph.D., and Laurie Miller Brotman, Ph.D.

Read more about how to help children develop healthy eating habits. Please note that the information provided is primarily for teaching younger children how to develop healthier eating habits but can be relevant for older children as well.

Importance of Mealtimes
Understanding Your Child’s Eating
It’s a Parent’s Job to Feed and a Child’s Job to Eat
Home Activity

Importance of Mealtimes

Meals are a time to help your child develop healthy eating habits, and a chance to teach your child many other important skills:

to help your child learn manners and social skills (e.g., talking and asking others about the day, learning family traditions such as blessings and foods that have special significance for your family or culture)
to teach responsibility (e.g., setting the table) and build self-esteem from having a special role in helping the family
to teach math skills (e.g., counting, measuring) and concepts (“more” “less”) when children are included in cooking the meal
to enjoy being together as a family – building regular meals into your routine shows your child that he or she can count on having that time with you.

Research shows that when kids have regular meals with their families
they are healthier and better behaved, and as teenagers,
they do better in school and are less likely to use drugs or alcohol.

Consider your thoughts about eating and feeding:

What does it mean to be a “good eater” or “well fed”? How can you tell if your child is eating well and getting enough to eat?

Do you have concerns about your child’s eating? What kinds of foods he or she eats? How much he or she eats? Is there such a thing as eating too much or too little?

How do you feel about feeding your child? How do you feel when you serve a meal and your child likes it? How do you feel when you serve a meal and your child doesn’t like it?

Understanding Your Child’s Eating

Parents usually have questions or concerns about two main issues with children’s eating – what kinds of food children eat and how much children eat.

What children eat. When children eat a variety of different foods (grains, vegetables, fruits, milk, and meat & beans), you can trust that they are getting the nutrients and vitamins they need to grow and have energy. There are specific things parents can do to help children learn to like a variety of foods.

Children need to be offered new foods at least 10 or 15 times. We are all born with a preference for sweet and salty foods and we tend to prefer foods that are familiar because they seem safe. Children usually reject new foods at first, but most children will learn to like new foods after they have been offered 10 to 15 different times. The more often kids are offered a food, the more likely they are to like that food!

Children need to be able to explore new foods. Young children are naturally curious and want to explore new things. The same is true for food. First, they will look, smell, and touch the food. They might taste the food by putting it in their mouths and taking it out again. Eventually, when they are ready, they will eat the food. This is all part of the normal process of learning to like new foods.

Children learn best when meals are relaxed and friendly. When parents encourage children to explore new foods at their own pace, but do not force them to try new foods, children are much more likely to learn to like these foods.

Children can learn to be polite about refusing foods. It’s important not to punish children for these “exploring” behaviors, like tasting food and then taking it back out of their mouths. But, it’s also important to teach children to be polite about refusing foods that they don’t want to eat.

Children learn by watching. Children are much more likely to try new foods when they see parents and other family members eating and enjoying these foods.

How much children eat. All of our bodies tell us when we’re hungry and when we’re full. Young children are actually very good at paying attention to these feelings so they can tell how much food they need to eat to grow and have energy. Children will be too fat or too thin if they eat more or less food than their bodies need. There are specific things parents can do to help children regulate eating so their bodies get just the right amount of food to grow up to have the body size that is right for them.

Normal patterns of growth. All children grow differently, and there are many different normal shapes and sizes. Children’s rate of growth slows down dramatically after they turn 2 years old. As a result, children may eat less and may become pickier eaters during the preschool period. It’s a normal, healthy pattern of growth for children to be thinner as preschoolers than they were as toddlers. If children have energy to learn, play, and interact with others, this is a sign that they are eating enough to grow well.

Normal variations in appetite. Children eat more or less depending on how active they are and how fast they are growing. It is natural for kids to eat a lot one day and not a lot another day. Sometimes, children eat very little or nothing at all, but they make up the nutrition later that day or later in the week. Children often eat most of their food early in the day, so dinner may be their smallest meal.

Children know how much they need to eat.The most important thing to remember is that children know when they are hungry and when they are not hungry. Even though it may seem strange to parents, some days children will only eat a few bites, and other days, they will ask for extra helpings. Children should be allowed to have extra helpings or not to “clean their plate.”

Children’s stomachs are small. A young child’s stomach is about the same size as their fist, so a smaller amount of food will fill them up. It should not be surprising if young children say they are full when they’ve eaten a smaller amount than an older child or adult has eaten.

As long as children have regular opportunities to eat at meals and snacks, they will eat the amount of food that their bodies need to grow and have energy to learn, play, and interact with others!

It’s a Parent’s Job to Feed and a Child’s Job to Eat

There has been a lot of research on how to help children develop healthy eating habits, and experts on nutrition and child development believe that both parents and children have important jobs when it comes to feeding and eating. Ellyn Satter is a leading expert on young children’s eating and has developed the idea of the Division of Responsibility (PDF) in feeding to guide parents in helping children be successful eaters.

The parent is responsible for the WHAT, WHEN, and WHERE of feeding.
The child is responsible for the HOW MUCH and WHETHER of eating.

Parent’s job. A parent’s job is to offer children a variety of healthy and delicious foods, to set a regular routine for meals and snacks, to sit down at the table and eat with children, and to help create a pleasant mealtime atmosphere. If you take care of the WHAT, WHEN, and WHERE, then you are doing your job as a parent.

Not a parent’s job. It is not a parent’s job to try to make children eat certain foods or eat certain amounts of food. In fact, we’ve learned that children are more likely to develop healthy eating habits when parents offer and encourage healthy food choices – but do not try to force it. This takes the pressure off you and your child and it avoids power struggles. Meals will probably be more enjoyable for you and your child if you can forget about what your child is eating from the foods you served. Instead, you can focus on enjoying spending time together as a family!

It’s nice for parents to occasionally make comments about their own enjoyment of the food. For example, “Mmm, I love how crunchy these carrots are.” or “Sweet potatoes are one of my favorite foods. They’re so warm and delicious!” But, it’s best for parents to avoid telling children to taste or eat food, or to reward or punish kids for eating or not eating. These strategies can actually keep children from liking the foods that parents are trying to encourage. These strategies can also cause children to eat too much or too little.

Child’s job. It’s a child’s job to choose WHETHER to eat the foods that the parent serves – this means that if a parent serves chicken, rice, and broccoli, a child can choose to eat only the rice. It’s also a child’s job to choose HOW MUCH to eat – this means that a child may choose not to eat all the food on the plate, or may choose to have extra helpings of the food that the parent served.

Learn how you can set up a routine for meals and snacks to make sure you are taking care of the WHAT, WHEN, and WHERE of feeding.

WHAT do you want your family to eat?

Serve a variety of foods. If you offer your child a variety of healthy foods, you can feel good about doing your job. We recommend 3 or 4 different foods at meals and 1 or 2 different foods at snacks. For example, a meal could include a food from 3 or 4 of the food groups (grains, vegetables, fruits, milk, and meat & beans).

Serve one family meal. We recommend making one meal for the whole family, instead of cooking only foods that you think your child will eat. You can make sure to include at least one food that your child enjoys (most children will eat rice, noodles, or bread). Over time, your child will learn to eat more and more of the foods you serve.

Try to avoid being a short-order cook. If your child doesn’t eat the foods you serve at a meal or snack, try to resist the urge to fix something else that you know your child will eat. There will be another meal or snack in a few hours and your child should be able to wait until then. When children are hungry because they chose not to eat, they are more likely to eat what is served the next time.

Let older children and teenagers make some decisions. As children get older, it is appropriate to give them some responsibility for making decisions about the foods they eat. For example, parents can stock a cabinet shelf or refrigerator drawer with a variety of healthy snacks for children to choose. Teenagers will inevitably eat more meals outside of the home and should be encouraged to balance “fast food” with healthier options.

WHEN do you want your family meals to be?

Set up a routine. Children need 3 meals each day with 2 or 3 snacks in between (including what they eat at school or day care). Children get hungry every few hours because they have small stomachs.

Be consistent. Serving meals and snacks at about the same time every day teaches children that they will be fed regularly and supports them in paying attention to how hungry or full their bodies are. Having a routine also helps avoid meltdowns when children get too hungry.

Set limits. Setting up a routine for meals and snacks also means not letting children eat at other times. With a routine and limits, children will come to the table hungry and ready to eat the food you are serving.

Schedule family meals. Children usually eat healthier foods when they eat with adults. If there is not a time when your whole family can eat together because of work or school schedules, try to plan your routine so at least one adult can sit down and eat with the children.

WHERE do you want your family meals to be?

Eat at the table. Eating at a table gives structure to the meal and teaches children that mealtime is different from playtime. This helps children concentrate on eating and paying attention to how hungry or full their bodies are.

Turn off the TV. Many families watch TV at meals, but when the TV is off, families are more likely to talk and enjoy spending time with each other. Children are also more likely to eat slowly, so they eat just enough food to fill up, without stuffing themselves. This will be easier once it’s part of the routine and everyone gets used to it – “Remember, we watch TV before dinner.”

Consider this

Are there other rules or expectations for behavior that you want to set for meals and snacks? These are a few examples that you may want to consider:

Children come to the table when food is served.
Children can be excused from the table when they are finished eating or after 20 minutes (instead of having to sit at the table until the whole family is finished).
Our family only eats food at the table (instead of eating on the couch or eating while standing up or walking around).
Children set the table or clear the dirty dishes.
Children say “please” and “thank you” when asking for more food.
Children say “no, thank you” if they do not want a particular food that is served.
Our family talks and eats during meals – we do not bring toys, books, or newspapers to the table.

Home Activity

Here’s a great activity to help you create a consistent feeding schedule for your child.

ACTIVITY: Create a daily routine for 3 meals and 2 to 3 snacks for your child.

WHAT TO DO:

Think about your family’s schedule – when children are at school, when adults are at work, school, and home. Plan when you want to serve breakfast, lunch, and dinner and 2 or 3 snacks for your child. Remember, young children get hungry every few hours.

Take into account meals or snacks your child eats outside of the home. Does your child eat breakfast or lunch at school? Does your child have a snack at school or daycare?

Consider how dinner fits into your family’s evening routine. What time do you want to be finished with dinner so your child has time for homework, reading, playing or other family activities before bedtime?

Write in the times for meals and snacks here. Then fill in the mealtime routines chart and post it in your kitchen or dining room so everyone in the family can see it.

	Time
Breakfast	__________
Lunch	__________
Dinner	__________

	Time
Snacks	__________
	__________
	__________